Let’s start with dinner – what is it exactly that makes going out for dinner fun? Well, think about it – if you take the time to find a funky café with cozy seats and you’re with your honey, what’s not to like?
There’s the novelty of going to a new restaurant or the familiarity and comfort of going to a favorite spot. You still have the planning as you do with a restaurant, you’re still going out – to a new part of town you haven’t explored before perhaps.
If you are the pursuer, "tough love" for both you and your partner means seeking respect first and love second, while the distancer must respect the other partner by resisting the temptation to avoid.To do otherwise is to encourage your partner to treat you with disrespect.The thought that my friend is the last "fish in the sea" will tend to create desperation.It's tough to keep in mind, but if you do end the relationship, over time you will likely find more opportunities.Love doesn’t have to take a back seat in tough economic times.
To the contrary, a little bit of creativity will put you back in the driver’s seat and you’ll have fun doing something different from the usual dinner and a movie!What I've talked about here relates to red flags, some clear, some more obscure, which If you're still concerned about your relationship, talk to someone.Feel free to give us a call here at the Focus on the Family Counseling department. Our licensed counselors or chaplains would love to speak with you and, if you would like, can direct you toward local Christian counselors.Romantic relationships often resemble an emotional see-saw.When this process becomes a pattern, one partner pursues the other with great abandon, resulting in a paradoxical loss of interest on the part of the other partner, the distancer. "Earlier, you mentioned 18 red flags; my friend only has two of them, so most don't apply to us." That may be true, but even one red flag could make the difference between a wise choice and a disaster when it comes to marriage.