All the single ladies (and the single men, too) in Grand Rapids, listen up: Kara Mc Nabb has asked - and West Michigan's locals have answered - what it's really like to be dating these days. In the first installment of this series, we looked at some offbeat local venues that make a great date destination.
Read on for an honest peek into the ups and downs of the local dating scene in part two of a series. This week, several locals explore how Grand Rapids’ identity impacts the dating scene and share advice on how to meet others in the area.
I make sure I’m on time, why can’t they do the same?
The first issue with this is that there are already a number of social networking platforms that exist for people to connect with other people romantically, and the fact that Linked In is the only one older men know how to use doesn’t make it okay for a career-oriented site to be co-opted in this way. Linked In, unlike Ashley Madison, has plenty of actual women as members who are actually looking to further their careers by meeting actual like-minded people in similar industries.But it also apparently has a plentiful number of older men looking to use their career success to impress ambitious young women with their “mentorship” potential.Linked In is a lot of things: a convenient place to upload your resume online, a weird portal for “thinkfluencers” to post inspirational screeds about leadership à la Forbes.com, a site that indulges the 2008 Facebook dream by telling you (albeit in very limited ways) who’s been checking out your profile.But it is also, indisputably, the social network of choice among older men.Let’s start with the common courtesy of being on time. I should be there in about 30 minutes.” My longest wait for a date was just under 2 hours.
In all the years that I’ve been dating in Los Angeles, I have yet to meet a single woman in this city who understands that 7 pm really means 7 pm. One time, I arrived at the agreed time and couldn’t locate my date. After waiting that long, it required considerable mental discipline to be in a cheerful mood during the date. It could be flowers or chocolates, just to show appreciation and to make the woman feel special.
The evidence for this is both anecdotal (everyone’s dad loves Linked In) and statistical (37 percent of Linked In’s users are over 50, users skew predominantly male, and fully 85 percent are 30 or older).
The knowledge of this used to be vaguely comforting—on any given day, you could log in, and find a wealth of posts detailing “Ten Tips for Talking Technology” and “How to Pursue Lifelong Learning.” But this week, after the 27-year-old English barrister Charlotte Proudman tweeted a Linked In message sent to her by a much-older partner at a law firm complimenting her on her “stunning picture!!! The first is that senior partners in law firms overuse exclamation points just as much as Millennial women purportedly do.
My last date texted me 5 minutes prior to our agreed meeting time to inform me she would be 45 minutes late. But it’s rare to get a thank you; it’s mostly grab and stash, as if I might take it back.
I have considered taking it back after waiting 45 minutes for my date to show up, but so far I haven’t.
In general, more men than women use online dating—some 13% of men compared to 9% of women in the United States, according a Pew Research Centre study in 2013.